ENGINEERING JOKES

TOP ENGINEERING JOKES

When you think of an engineer the first thing that comes to mind is a man or woman working long hours to build, fix or develop a machine or a software. Engineers it time to take a minute and unwind, laugh a little, As the saying goes, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

•  Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.  Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
•  What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
• Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.

One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”

Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”

The last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”

•  Knock knock.

Who’s there?
Interrupting coefficient of friction.
Interrupting coefficient of fri…. mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ()

•  Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,

threw it to the  ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

•  An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.

Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

•  A wife asks her husband, a software engineer…
  “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, “Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?” He replied, “They had eggs.”